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Archive for May, 2008
Pom Juice
May 29th, 2008

So, I live in Ehime Prefecture. In Japan, they’re all about what regional areas are famous for. Ehime is famous for みかん. I love mikan. So, Pom Juice is basically Japanese orange juice. Naturally, I love it, too. I feel like Jay Harris. Anyway, when I was in Tokyo, I went to see Asakusa and near by there was a ¥100 shop. We were kind of hungry so we went in to get a snack, and there was my beloved Pom juice.

Ok, so I’m not writting this very well because you’re not surprised, but you should be. See, in Ehime, where the juice of life is made, it’s usually around ¥140 (thanks to bio-fuels it’s gone up to 160). Do you see my shock now?


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      /   (o)  (o)    \
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     |       <         |    shock
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      \  '.______.'   /
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         '-......-'

See it? So, I wrote the company and asked them why they would sell it cheaper in Tokyo. I got a response and this is what they said:

Dear Mr Schuch,

We are very happy to hear that you love our pruducts so much. In regards to your inquerry, our suggested retail price is ¥320 for a 1 liter bottle and ¥160 for a 500ml bottle. However, due to the nature of business, there are times when it may not be sold at that price. We do not have a strict price policy, but rather go along with the open price policy of Japan's markets.

The Pom Juice that you saw at the 100 yen shop was probably a 500ml bottle (it was, I forgot to tell them), and we think that is very cheap. However, we can assure you that we are not selling it to them at a cheap wholesale price.
We are profusely sorry and hope that you understand.

We look forward to your continued business

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Brian Schuch: The Poem
May 16th, 2008
A friend once said that my poems have no meter. This one is no exception. dear god how should this be read?

I am Brian Schuch
And I live in Japan
I really like to cook
That’s why I have this pan

You’re not in any danger
I’m not going to beat you
My little doppleganger
I just want to feed you

I just want to feed you
To a wild savage beast
I really wanna bleed you
And watch the creature feast

Oh how appealing
It would be so much fun
but I’ve got a feeling
That i just won’t be done

You can keep your online
And know that you’ve won
Cause your pesonal shrine
Is www number one

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Three posts? are you mad?
May 15th, 2008

Note to any of you doppleganger Brian Schuchs out there. Please note that I’m joking.
Doppleganger.

The Real

Brian Schuch

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Two posts in one day?!?
May 15th, 2008

So, going along with my new Brian Schuch theme, I’ve decided to write Brian Schuch: the poem. [Edit 2008-05-16T03:48:03+00:00: This poem has been rewritten to not suck quite as much]

Brian Schuch

Hello, My name is Brian Schuch
And I’m not something from a book
And though it may bewilder
I’m not a house builder

I’m living in Japan
I hit you with frying pan
Brian Schuch is my name
Winning is my drain?

Bah, this poem sucks
You can buy it for 100 bucks
Please end it now

by

Brian Schuch

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Brian Schuch
May 15th, 2008

So, I’m reading about Search Engine Optimozation (SEO for us in the biz) and I decide to see how I, Brian Schuch, rate. Well, There’s an upstart out there. I’m number one on Yahoo!, but I’ve been usurped by another Brian Schuch on Google! This can’t be. I don’t care how many online.coms you have after your name, Mr Schuch, that spot will be mine, Brian Schuch (I don’t need four names. Two is enough for me, Brian Schuch).

So, to try to increase my page ranking, I need some SEOs. One of those is to repeat your keyword, Brian Schuch, often. So, from now on, all of my posts (including the past ones) will be signed “Brian Schuch” and I might refer to myself in future ones like William Shatner on Boston Legal,Brian Schuch Danny Crane

Brian Schuch

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